Thursday, June 14, 2012

Date: Tuesday, June 12, 2012, 5:21 PM

Today was an amazing orientation into the Houston YWAM ministry.  We looked at a house and found the foundation cracked !  So, we did loose the bid to the other house yesterday and this one is NOT one to bid on, so we are back to the dugout.  We just dropped by the YWAM office and they said we should stay to see the termination of a street mom's rights to her daughter that was 9 months old.  We have seen adoption ceremonies, but never been in on the termination part of adoption.  The thin, street mom came into the beautiful office on the 2nd floor very quiet and frail.  She was wearing on both arms and neck many tattoos, very short hair, her little false eyelashes, and weighing about 100lb.  Both hands were red where she tried to die her inch long hair last night with her hands because she did not have gloves.  She could not make much eye contact and spoke only when spoken too.  Her front teeth were missing in areas and her countenance was very down.  She sat at the table beside me and looked at the new photos given to her by her caseworker with YWAM Houston.  She smiled and laughed as she saw her baby daughter dressed in pink fluffy dresses and posing in Barbie cars!  It was as if, there were no emotions.  There was a large wall around her and I respected that.  She was 32, yet looked 52 to me.  I was called back in to be a witness.  After signing what seemed to be a ton of papers, Kim Dale, the Houston founder, asked if I would pray with her.  As I stood at the back of her chair and her head hug down, I placed both hands on her shoulders and told her," Emily(not her real name), my birth mother did what you are doing for your daughter.  Perhaps, if she had not, I would not be here today.  This is a VERY selfless act of love and one that shows you do love your daughter."  Tears came and I could feel her shoulders fall forward as I prayed for her to be wrapped in His grace and mercy.  Remembering the birth moms of Fatherheart and the weeks and months we walked them through the grief, I knew what was ahead of Emily.  She may seem fine, unmoved, but that is NOT true.  Inside she is hurting and deeply.  There has been a rescue of this little daughter, but Emily's rescue still remains unaccomplished.  

As many of these women walk through this hard decision, I see such a difference in what I have experienced the last 3 1/2 years at Fatherheart.  She did not come from night training classes on the Love of God, or wake to bacon cooking in the kitchen each morning.  Emily has not slept in the King's beds on the second floor with beauty and comfort all around.  She remains in her pain and suffering and hard life.  How did she get there, what is her story.... that I do not know, but I hope to find out.  One thing I did learn at Fatherheart is that we are not just here to rescue babies, but the moms too!  That will never leave my heart nor the process we had to go through to make them know we loved and cared about them,the follow up, the photos, the calls.  I told Emily as I left today that I would be seeing here again.  I am hoping that on the Wednesday night street church meetings I see Emily again and again and bring her into  a relationship with the Father.  This is NOT a ministry of judgement and criticism.  It is Not a ministry to point fingers and assume.  It is one of compassion and bathing the feet of the wounded souls that Jesus is chasing after.  

We have lots of decisions to make about our future here and appreciate your prayers.  We have decided to start at the office now and work since the housing is NOT coming open as we had hoped.  We have really funny things happening each day from dropping the only tube of toothpaste into the toilet to oil spilled on our jeans out of the suitcases and a dog wearing size 2 diapers until we get our own place :(  Small sacrifices, highs and lows, but we know HE is with us and looking for that right house.  Thank you for praying for us.  God bless and Houston, here we come!!!!!!!!

--
Chasing the Dreams of God,
     Conley and Nancy

http://chasingthedreamsofgod.blogspot.com   FB: Conley Brown
                                                                         Nancy Brown

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